Cpoied from Darkalbino

A funny thing I found about the best word ever:

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word "fuck." Out of all the English words that begin with the letter "F", fuck is the only word that is referred to as the "F" word. It's the one magical word that just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.

Fuck, as most words in the English language, is derived from German, the word 'flicken' which means "to strike." In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories. As a transital verb for instance, "John fucked Shirley." As an intransitive verb, "Shirley fucks."

Its meaning's not always sexual, it can be used as an adjective such as "John's doing all the fucking work." As part of an adverb, "Shirley talks too fucking much." As an adverb enhancing an adjective, "Shirley is fucking beautiful." As a noun, "I don't give a fuck." As part of a word, "Abso-fucking-lutely" or "In-fucking-credible." And, as almost every word in a sentence, "Fuck the fucking fuckers."

As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of "fuck", as in these examples describing situations such as:

Fraud: "I got fucked at the used car lot."

Dismay: "Aw fuck it."

Trouble: "I guess I'm really fucked now."

Aggression: "Don't fuck with me buddy."

Difficulty: "I don't understand this fucking question!"

Inquiry: "Who the fuck was that?"

Dissatisfaction: "I don't like what the fuck is going on here."

In Confidence: "He's a fuck off."

Dismissal: "Why don't you go outside and play 'hide and go fuck yourself?'"

I'm sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multi-purpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say, use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately.

Say it loudly and proudly, "Fuck you!"

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
Say the words out loud.
1) That's not right... ...Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? ...Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP... ...Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man... ... Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse... ...Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach?...Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift...Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here...Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet...Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone...,No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight...Le i Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile...Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive...Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great... ...Fa Kin Su Pah

I think I going to make this blog for funny stuff i found on internet

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
The last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
Immediately take the words back...
Or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did...

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
And asked loudly,
'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
He knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and
Passed by a store that sold a
Variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
The boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day,
My sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :

While in line at the bank one afternoon,
My toddler decided to release
Some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
Her after receiving looks of disgust
And annoyance from other patrons..
I told her that if she did not start behaving
'right now' she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
'If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
Kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
Walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco,
I smelled something funny,
So of course I checked
My seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
The realized that Danny
Had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go,
And he said 'No'
I kept thinking
'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.'
Then I said,
' Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse..
Soooooo, I asked one more time, ' Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
Bent over, spread his cheeks
And yelled
'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
Thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
And a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
In the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
The day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
Turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
But half the crew did too they were laughing so hard

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Some of this hillarious as hell some of it makes my head spins... I simply lack the skill to understand it :P

The Anime Laws!

1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.

2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime MotionIn space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

11. Law of Inherent Combustability
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.

14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.

15. Law of Inexhaustability
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.

17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.

18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't...

22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
--Extreme Coolness
--Amazing intelligence
--Incredible Irritation

37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.

44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives


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Things I Must Not (Must) do at Hogwarts

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1.I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

2. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class. It will not get me extra credit.

3. Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda.

4. I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month", no matter how sympathetic I think I am to the situation.

5. I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my older brother's old Calculus book.

6. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. Nor am i allowed to use the theme from Mission Impossible.

7. I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

8. "Draco Malfoy, Is My Snuggle Bunny" is not an acceptable quidditch chant.

9. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween. Or Lucius Malfoy. Or Hitler.

10. I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.

11. Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

12. Bringing fortune cookies to Divinations class does not count as extra credit.

13. I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow peeps. Why Chocolate Frogs are allowed and not these is beyond me.

14. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintball.

15. I will not wear A MUDBLOOD AND PROUD OF IT shirt to DE meetings and act surprised when they attack me.

16. I will not tell first years that they should build a tree-house in the whomping willow

17. I will not use silencing charms on my professors.

18. I will not scream bloody murder everytime I see Filch

19. I will not ride around hogwarts in an uncontrollable cart going really fast with no breaks, and chase Snape around while causing general chaos.

20. I will not throw a surprise party for Snape and write him romantic poems no matter how much I think he needs a hug.

21. I will not purposefully run face on into every wall I see.

22. I will not make popping sounds with my mouth(like Donky from Shrek)and laugh when the teacher gives you a funny look.

23. I will not look at the ceiling for along time, and when I see other people looking at the ceiling too, trying to figure it out, say "What are you looking at?".

24. I will not grimace painfully while smacking my forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" while around the younger students.

25. I will not answer the professors' questions with meows.

26. I will not draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other students that this is my "personal space."

37. I will not get a black dog, name it Grim, and take it to Divination class.

28. I will not invent a cereal. There are no such thing as Voldios, and they are not magically delicious.

29. I will not yell "Pick me! Pick me!" when Snape hands out detentions.

30. I will not sing The Song That Never Ends. While drunk. In the Great Hall. To the first years..

31. I will not wait for Snape to run away from me to yell "Why are you doing this, Severus? YOU KNOW THIS IS YOUR BABY!"

32. I will not send Snape love notes signed "Wormtail"."

33. When called upon in class, I will not insist that the correct answer is 42

34. I will not add "according to the prophecy" to raise my Divination grade (though that could work)

35. I will not tell Muggleborn first-years that Bertie Bott's Every-Flavor Beans taste better if you them all at once

36. Im not allowed to bother Snape and Dumbledore does not do "naked time"

37. I will not sing "Defying Gravity" during Quidditch practice

38. The four houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Brainiacs and the Junior Death Eaters.

39. My headmasters name is Albus Dumbledore, not Gandalf

40. Yelling "to infinity and beyond" was only funny the first time I took off from my broom.

41. I will refrain from calling Fred and George - Merry and Pippin, Harry and Ron - Frodo and Sam, and it probably isnt smart to call Draco Legolas either.

42. Telling Draco to "make like a ferret and bounce" is always a bad idea.

43. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout “To the Batmobile, Robin”

44. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

45. No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them.

46. I will not tickle the sleeping dragon “just to see what happens”

47. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here

48. I will not refer to the DADA profs or Gryffindors as “Red shirts”

49. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry’s prized Firebolt

50. I will not scare the First years with wild tales of an omniscient Author who controls our very destinies.

51. Making a Polyjuice Potion and walking up to the person I copied to make them act crazy/ act like a human mirror is not funny

52. Ron Weasley does not appreciate being called “Boy Wonder” and he definitely does not want to wear green tights

53. Putting a Snitch in Malfoy’s pants really isn’t funny, even if it does make him scream like a girl.

54. Putting fake spiders in Ron’s bed is certainly not funny, especially when he tries to jump out the window.

55. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees".

56. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can produce, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

57. Growing marijuana (or weed for everyone else) is not an extra credit project for Herbology. Although it might win the war if I can get Voldemort addicted.

58. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

59. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

60. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "Let me out".

61. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".

62. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

63. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

64. The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.

65. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

66. I will not lick Trevor. or kiss him. Even if he could turn into a Prince. It might be Snape anyways, and he wouldn't be too happy with me.

67. Calling Lucius Malfoy "Luscious Mouthful" is just plain gross.

68. I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".

69. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.

70. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape/McGonagall s/he takes himself too seriously.

71. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

72. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

73. Tricking a school house elf into stripping does not mean that they are now mine, even if I yell "Pwned!"

74. Speaking like Yoda, does not a happy professor make. Funny, it is not.

75. During the Spring Annual Good vs. Evil Match I will not raise my wand in the air and yell “THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!”

76. “Ooh ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang is not a spell.

77. I am not a sloth Animagus.

78. I am aloud to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not, however, allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or a piranha.

79. I do not weigh the same as a duck

80. I will stop asking my Arithemancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

81. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul are completely coincidental

82. Professor Flitwick does not wish to be addressed to as: Admiral Naismith or Mon Capitan or Napoleon.

83. Asking a Gryffindor, How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense? and walking away is only funny the FIRST time.

84. 42 is not the only answer to every questing on the OWLS

85. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall that she takes herself to seriously.

86. I am not allowed to owl suspected Death Eaters a list of Evil Overlords.

87. I will not offer to make tandoori owl.

88. I will stop asking Snape when we will make Love Potion No. 9

89. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corp.

90. My name is not Captain Subtext

91. I cannot Hadoken anything into oblivion.

92. Professor Flitwicks first name is not Yoda.

93. I am not the Defense Against Boring Classes professor.

94. I am not allowed to use the words pimp cane in front of Draco.

95. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed, and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the outcome would be.

96. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled Firewhiskey.

97. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.

98. First years are not to be fed to fluffy.

99. A wand is for magic. Not for picking noses, playing snooker, or practicing my drum playing no matter how bored I become.

100. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in potions class

101. First years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.

102. Novelty and Holiday themed ties are not appropriate for school uniform.

103. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot

104. I should not refer the DADA teachers as the canaries in the coalmine.

105. I will restrain myself from saying: Dude, get a life. When facing Lord Voldemort.

106. I am not allowed to place muggle fairytale books under the history section of the library.

107. There is not now, nor will there ever be a fifth house at Hogwarts. I am not a member of this house, or the founder.

108. I will not refer using the Accio charm as Using the force.

109. Albus Dumbledores proper title is Headmaster, not: The Gandalf Wannabe

110. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesized her death.

111. I will not use Gryffindors and Slytherins as Christmas decorations.

112. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel and sick joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

113. If asked in class what the Avada Kadavra curse does yelling, IT DOES DEATH!! I not the appropriate response.

114. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.

115. Ravenclaws do not in any circumstance find a sign saying: The library is closed for an indefinite time. Amusing in any sense.

116. I will not try to recreate the Key of Time in Transfiguration class.

117. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I will not install one in one of my muggle cars.

118. I am not allowed to use any silencing charms on my Professors.

119. I will not set Hermiones time turner to rotate every half hour.

120. If the thought of a spell causes me to giggle for more than 15 consecutive seconds, I must assume that I am not aloud to use it.

123. I will not refer my X-files videos to be: Auror Training Videos.

124. When being interrogated by the staff, I am not allowed to wave my hand and announce, These are not the droids you are looking for.

125. Albus Dumbledore is not the devil.

126. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

127. I will not follow potion instructors in reverse just to see what happens.

128. I am not to claim that there is a prequel to Hogwarts, one that explains the about Bilbo Baggins.

129. I will not, under any circumstance, ask Harry Potter who died and declared him boss.

130. I am not allowed to refer Susan Bones, Hanna Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.

131. I will not cast the occasional Obliviate spell on Dumbledore, even though it would be amusing.

132. I am not allowed to give the Gryffindors Pixie Stix.

133. I will not lock the Gryffindors and Slytherins in a room and make bets on which House will come out alive.

134. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they are, in fact, real animals.

135. I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.

136. I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.

137. I will not douse Harry Potters invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he becomes visible when walking in front of the fire in the common room.

138. I will not tell the first years that Moon Prism Power is the basic spell for Transfiguration.

139. I will not yell, Believe it. OR NOT! in random parts of Dumbledores speeches.

140. My name is not Dark Lord Happy Pants and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.

141. There is no such thing as the Chamber of Double Secret Probation.

142. I will not try to magically animate my marshmallow peeps.

143. Never ask Harry if is Scar Senses are tingling.

144. Voldemort is not Gonandorf and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.

145. I am not to sing the entire Multiplication Rock, song during Arithmancy exams.

146. I will not charm the suites of armor in the Great Hall to do a reenactment of the musical number, Were knights of the Round Table. For the Christmas Feast.

147. I will not refer Professor McGonagall as: McGoogles.

148. I am not aloud to make lightsaber noises with my wand.

149. Wearing my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT shirt to school is not a good idea

150. I am not allowed to recreate famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the Charms corridor.

151. I am not to declare an official: Hug a Slytherin day.

152. I am not to refer myself as Tim the Enchanter to first years.

153. I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use my war cries every time I enter a classroom.

154. It is not necessary to yell, BAM! every time I apparate.

155. I am not allowed to commandeer Gryffindors sword from Dumbledores office and use it to patrol the hallways.

156. I cannot sing Attack of the Killer Tomatoes theme song during Herbology.

157. I am not allowed to pain the house elves blue and refer to them as smurfs.

158. I will not organize the Hogwarts Fight Club

159. It is a bad idea to tell Snape that he takes himself too seriously.

160. I will not tell first years that Snape is the voice of God.

161. I will not dress up as a Dementor and use a dust buster to use on Harrys lips to try to convince him to do what I want.

162. I will not start food fights in the Great Hall

163. To conquer the earth with my army of flying monkeys is apparently not the best career option..

164. The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife

165. It is not necessary to yell, Oooo BURN! every time Snape takes points from Gryffindor.

166. Yall check this bad boy out! is not the appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.

167. I will not hold my wand up in the air before casting a spell and shout, I have the power!

168. I am not the king of the potato people and I do not have a flying carpet.

169. Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do a time warp will not get me extra house points.

170. I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and have students say Ni while hiding about the corridor

----------------------------------------------------------

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on

I'm smiling. That really should scare you.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

Someday, we'll look on this, laugh nervously and change the subject

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas

If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.

That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter

If you can't beat the computer at chess, try kickboxing.

When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking

He who laughs last thinks slowest

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work

I'm not cynical, I just see things the way they are

I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid

It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good

I'm not as dumb as you look

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Sarcasm is one more free service we offer.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.

Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"

When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

The trouble with life, is there's no background music.

I couldn't repair you brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I will not follow. If you want to walk besides me, go far it, but don't expect a big reaction...

For people who like peace and quiet: Get a PHONELESS CORD!

I don't get even, I get odder.

I have a photographic memory, but it takes a day to develop.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly, if it's worth it.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

If Fed ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Love me, Hate me, make a voodoo doll of me and stick it full of pins, I will continue to be indifferent to you.

To be alone is to be different; to be different is to be alone.

The beatings will cease once moral improves.

Excuse me while I find a container for my joy.

People who think they know everything annoy those of us who do.

Laws to live by:

Murphy's law: 1. If anything can go wrong, it will." 2. "If there's more than one possible outcome of a job or task, and one of those outcomes will result in disaster or an undesirable consequence, then somebody will do it that way" 3. "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way."

Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies: As a discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.

Hanlon's razor: 1. Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. 2. Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice.

Amara's Law: "We tend to overestimate the effect of a technology in the short run and underestimate the effect in the long run.

Benford's law of controversy: The Passion of an agruement is inversely proportional to the amount of real information available.

Dilbert Principal: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

Gall's Law: "A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked."

Herblock's Law: If it's good, they'll stop making it.

Hutber's Law: "Improvement means deterioration".

Littlewood's Law: Individuals can expect a miracle to happen to them at the rate of about one per month.

Meadow's Law: One is a tragedy, two is suspicious and three is murder, until proved otherwise.

Muphry's Law: If you write anything criticizing editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written.

Okrent's Law: The pursuit of balance can create imbalance because sometimes something is true.

Parkingson's Law:Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

Peter's Principle: In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

Reilly's Law: People generally patronize the largest mall in the area.

Roemer's Law: A hospital bed built is a bed filled

Rothbard's Law: Everyone specializes in his own area of weakness.

Sayre's Law: "In any dispute the intensity of feeling is inversely proportional to the value of the stakes at issue." By way of corollary, the law adds: "That is why academic politics are so bitter."

Schneier's Law: Any person can invent a security system so clever that she or he can't think of how to break it.

Segal's Law A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure."

Skitt's Law: a corollary of Muphry's law, variously expressed as "any post correcting an error in another post will contain at least one error itself" or "the likelihood of an error in a post is directly proportional to the embarrassment it will cause the poster."

Stigler's Law: No scientific discovery is named after its original discoverer.

Sturgeon's Revelation: 90 percent of everything is crap.

Sutton's Law: Go where the money is.

Wiener's Law: There are no answers, only cross-references.

----------------------------------------------------------

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all of its students."

"It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives."

"The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think."

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

P. E. S. T = stephfunky profile

"My name is Stephanie. P - E - S - T. Stephanie."

"Bah, logic has no place in my life."

"This, I think, will need a rather lovely blend of violence and subtly. We may even need extreme explosives."

"Work interests me; I could just sit and watch it all day long."

"My name is Stephanie. P - E - S - T. Stephanie."

"Bah, logic has no place in my life."

"This, I think, will need a rather lovely blend of violence and subtly. We may even need extreme explosives."

"Work interests me; I could just sit and watch it all day long."

"I have the world's best gaydar! I can always find the gay man in a room - the only problem is he's usually the only one I actually like."

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."

"Weather forecast: Precipitation in the morning, rain in the afternoon."

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe."

"If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candle light."

"I do not like this word, 'Bomb'. It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding."

"Solutions are not the answer."

"Permitted vehicles not allowed."

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."

"Procrastinate now. Don't put it off."

"I'd kill for a Nobel peace prize."

"Borrow money from pessimists... they don't expect it back."

"Everyone has a photographic memory. Some of them just don't have film!"

"All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand."

"Okay, so what's the speed of dark?"

"I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we even met."

"I intend to live forever... so far, so good."

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

"My mechanic told me, 'I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.'"

"Here, officer. Hold my beer while I find my license."

"Consciousness: That annoying time between naps."

"A friend is someone who's there for you when he'd rather be somewhere else."

"In any sufficiently large group of people, most are idiots."

"We have only one person to blame, and that's each other."

"I am nobody... Nobody is perfect... I must be perfect then!"

"If you want breakfast in bed... Sleep in the kitchen."

"As you slide down the banister of life, may your ass collect many splinters."

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings' horses and all the kings' men, ate scrambled eggs for 2 weeks."

"hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?"

"There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't."

"Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go."

"There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead."

"We've all had our moments, when we trip and fall. It's not a lot of fun to be laughed at by them all. But one trick that I always use, it's good, I guarantee. I grab someone by the shirt and pull them down with me."

"Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'"

"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind."

"It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter."

"People don't want to hear about other people. People want other people to hear about themselves."

"My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was god and I didn't."

"Some people are alive because it's illegal to kill them."

(Sign shown in a non-smoking zone) "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house."

"The report of my death was exaggerated."

"I met this guy who said he loved children. Then I found out that he was on parole for it."

"My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas. I told my roommate and he said, 'Do I know you?'."

"I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt."

"I've always wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming!"

"We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a dime. By the time I was 14, I owned my own home."

"I aint saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance, she leaned over and pushed me."

"One guy had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to pay him if he ever has to give a thumb print."

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose."

"Foot: A special device for finding furniture in the dark."

"Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time."

"I only go to work on days that don't end in a Y."

"I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception."

"When I was born, I was so surprised; I didn't talk for a year and a half."

"Like many women my age, I am 28 years old."

"I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls."

"At 38 years, I finally got me the woman that said those six words I wanted all my life to hear: My dad owns a liquor store."

"A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty."

"Man has will, but woman has her way."

"A girl phoned me the other day and said, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.'. I went over. Nobody was home."

"Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living."

"A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country."

"The word 'Politics' is derived from the word 'Poly', meaning 'Many', and 'Ticks', meaning 'Blood sucking parasites'."

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

"Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they've seen me laugh, and they've seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo."

"It may be true that you can't fool all people all the time, but you can fool enough of them to rule a large country."

"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."

"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people."

"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. By then it was too late."

"Marriage can be viewed as the waiting room for death."

"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway."

"There are three rings of marriage: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."

"I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'll gladly eat a network executive or a politician."

"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair."

"How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on."

"The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public."

"The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."

"I never cease to be dumbfounded by the unbelievable things people believe."

"We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction."

"You can't see the world if your eyes are filled with tears."

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: Everyone can see it, but only you get that warm feeling that it brings."

"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."

"I told my wife that a husband is like fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar."

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did in his sleep - Not screaming, like the passengers in his car."

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

"Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door."

"Never argue with idiots. They just drag you down to their level and then beat you with their experience."

A new face

My college registration day is getting better. Though 3 of my counter don't have people and we have to wait. But it is still less stressful than before where we have to fight with the admin that our course exist :>

Marley

Today was supposed to be the day I get my new pet sugar glider named Marley... Still haven't though of new names for him. But he still a momma's boy so I refused to take him today to reduce his stress. :<

So sad... im so sad . I wanted my suggie. Although its my decision im still sad about it. huhuhuhu
I spent bout 2 hours there just listening to Hun(the breeder)

I hope none of the forumers i met there though i am a rude lil kid. :<

College

Again ... tomorrow is college registration day...... I dread the day since the administrator sure will make some problem for us. But I'm also excited cause I will get to meet my friends again.

hmm... where did I put my student id*gasp* I hope i didn't lose it. I have to pay a fine if I lost it :( and it will make my registration time even longer.

Another thing that make tomorrow bitter sweet is I have to give Mo back to E. He will no longer be mine alone.... I tame him up but his owner will take him... It is a shame.

stealth wheel update

Currently I just need to wait for the delivery of stealth wheel... hihihi
My brother already paid the paypal invoice... But I think it will arrive a bit late cause anita is quite busy... Her glider is quite sick. So, now is just a waiting game

Stealth Wheel

Wah I'm gonna get my stealth wheel after dreaming about it for so long (okay its only about 3 month)

The creator of the steath wheel is really nice. Her name is anita rae.

This is the most memorable pm i got from her.

OK, that's all doable... but....I gotta have the PayPal email address. HaHa We ARE going to get this figured out. It might take both of us but we ARE going to do it.

See!! It totally convince me that she going to do her hardest to get that stealth wheel to meh~

Now I present 2 u husband and wife

I change how I sort my entry... A new sorting method a new life at blogging, thus the tittle was born.... hihi

I make it so I have 3 tags... so far.

1. Pets: anything about my pets... from my concern about them to newest pic and updates.

2. Diary: is my diary or my thoughts..... and the general trash can in this tags

3. Fun Stuff: is all the interesting things I find at the web... usually I copied it from fanfic author. So its not mine, don't sue me!

More news about my pets

This is the updated pic of Mo.... I took it wiv my handphone camera last night


I'm going to have my 1st glider this weekend....
Wheee~

And the pet play pen that I bought for the suggie is already here!

Here a pic of it. It was bigger than I expected. I can sit in it comfortably.

I am on stealing spree... This 1 from fanfic author

"I'm weird? No dear, everyone's so weird that it's actually normal."(because I really am weird)

"The first thing I'll say if someone will tell me he likes me, which by the way is impossible, would be... Are you crazy?"

"I watched this documentary that changed my perception of life. Now I know, the world revolves around me."

"Form a straight circle!"

"What would you do if I had an illegitimate child?"
"Do you... have an illegitimate child?"
"I'm just asking."
"O~kay... I'll kill you and the woman you were with, take care of your illegitimate child and make the runt hate you."
"You are one ungrateful brat."
"I don't want to hear that from a man who had an illegitimate child at his 40s..."
"I have yet to have an illegitimate child."
"Then let's have this conversation when you do have one."

"You have money? 'Cause I don't."
"You have no money? You? The adult have no money?"
"I'm pennisless..."
(O.o) "Wh-what?"
"I'm pennisless..."
"Pa... it's penny. less."
"What did I say?""Oh... I said peni-"
"I DO NOT KNOW THIS OLD MAN!!"

Dance

I want to learn how to dance like BoA. But I don't know the name of her dance. It would be nice if someone can tell me :3

Here a nice vid of her dancing


I stole this vid from utube.....

See how nice she dance.... aaaaaaaa I wanna dance like that. When I work I want to join a dance class..... Hope no one laugh at me since I am a big balloon :>

I stole it....

Friendly I think NOT!

I dunno how come some people who seems to be really friendly on the forum can be so unhelpful. I have receive the unfriendly service repeatly and it kinda bug me.

I mean I know They did not know me since I just lurking around without posting in the forum but it doesn't mean I did not exist. And when I send a question in a pm to one of the active forumers ... they ignore me.

I don't know how they can treat people who really sincerely want to learn what they have to teach but they ignore the question. I can't really make myself to post the question on the forum since I feels very embarassed posting a question in public. I think maybe this one of the side-effect of I got bullied for 2 years.

Currently I am struggling to try handle the the problem by myself eventhough the people on the forum can give me tips to make it easier. :<

Vacation

I just got back from my holiday... It is 2 days 2 nights at langkawi.
The first day we spent it on visiting the shopping mall at kuah. It is a small town at the south of langkawi. I don't really see the difference of prices on duty-free item and non duty free.... hahaha

The next day we spent it just scouting the beaches at langkawi... There' are lots of it and the scenery of it is truly beautiful. The beach is not the only have beautiful scenery the road leading to it also sometimes is a really picture perfect scenery.

The most magnificent view I guess the road to tanjung Rhu. The pine tree is on the border of the road with a small river on the left road it was like the picture I saw at other country.

We are really excited to go back there again.

I got bored so I A this Q

--YOU ARE--

Name: Mitsue
Single or taken: Single *kukuku...I'm too evil to be taken*
Sex: Never had any.... Waiting for my 1st wedding night *lecherous grin*
Birthday: April
Sign: Taurus

--APPERANCE--

Hair colour: Black
Eye colour: Dark Hazel if you squint really hard to see my eyes. Lol black actually :P
Height: 5'2
Are you straight/bisexual/gay?:I'm as straight as a ruler

--FASHION STUFF--

Where is your favourite place to shop for clothes?: Uh..... none?
Favourite designer?: I don't have fav place to shop and you think I would have the answer to this one?
What is your sexiest outfit?: If naked is a sexy outfit then I have one :3
What is your most comfortable outfit?: Anything that is baggy. I love baggyness in my clothes.
What do you usually wear?: Trousers(shorts, jeans, slacks) and t-shirt

--WHAT ABOUT --

What kind of shampoo do you use?: I have a bad habits of changing my shampoo every time I got tired of the packaging *usually before the bottle is empty*
What are you listening to right now: OMG, this Q arrived at the most insane moment. I don't even know this song (I never managed to listen to all my 5k song) Clay Aiken - This is the night
Who is the last person that called you?: Someone unknown... Hahaha. Its a miscall. My battery went dead for 3 days.
How many buddies are online right now?: Don't really check it... maybe lest than 10

--FAVORITES--

Food: Depend on my mood. But I rather liked meat.
Girls names:Emm... Mitsue, morissa, Mikan, Hotaru, not much..... This is pathetic
Boy’s names: kaze, kiri, uraraka, sitatari.....XD hahaha most of it is japanese names
Subjects in school: Gym
Animals: Sugar gliders, hedgehog, guinea pig, snakes, rabbits, horse, ferrets, cats and dogs

--HAVE YOU EVER—

Given anyone a bath?: Yes... my lil nephew
Smoked?: If you count my failed attempt at smoking a home made cigar then... yes
Bungee jumped?: Nope... Really wanted to attempt it though
Made yourself throw up?: Once, twice, thrice... okay more than enough.... Almost became a bulimia. Thank god I knew of bulimia before it becomes chronic...So, I just stopped myself after that.
Skinny dipped?: do i really have to asnwer this one?
Ever been in love?: Nope ... lots of crush though
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: nooo~.... Too much pride in me i guess
Pictured your crush naked?: I wondered why I never attemp to do this
Actually seen your crush naked?: Nope, never even imagine it remember~
Cried when someone died?: So, far the closest person to me that dies is my grandpa and that was I was still small... so, no!
Lied: Who hasn't? white lies... okay some of black some of gray.... who inventcolours in lies?
Fallen for your best friend?: errr....... how about just a crush on my childhood friend?
Rejected someone?: Twice though I believe he was just pulling my legs
Used someone?: I think I have..... though I can't remember it.
Done something you regret?: Life is full of regret... You just have to choose a path that have less regret than the others.

--WHAT--

Clothes: Blue long sleeved t-shirt and dark green slack
Music: ‘That’s What You Get’ by Paramore
Smell: dettol, I just clean my room with it.
Desktop picture: The back of a young adult woman with a tatoo of wings on her back and the dimension of the wallpaper is all wonky. *1st times I used it I got headache from the wonky dimension.
CD in player: Nothing at the moment
DVD in player: Nothing at the moment

--LAST PERSON--

You touched: My nephew(he is 3 years old in case you are wondering)
You hugged: My nephew... He cried since his father scold him since he kept on bothering his father when his father was working.
You IMed: .... Today, did not Im anyone
You yelled at: none, since my days starts at noon so, it kinda cut short my interaction with people
You kissed: A gentleman don't kiss and tell.... opss I'm a woman so i guess I can tell... My nephew

--ARE YOU--

Understanding: depend on the situation.... If it is the cause of your own action then I am not really understanding. You reap what you sow.
Open-minded: Yes
Arrogant: Okay sometimes though I have lots of people to put me down a peg or 2
Insecure: Occasionally
Random: If you're asking this question then you've obviously never seen me when I'm hyper
Hungry: About 5 times a day
Smart: My father always lament that his children are all genius till they meet the stupid box (TV and computer)
Moody: ...sometimes...
Hard working: Depends...
Organized:Not really though I liked it when something have its own place.
Healthy: Nope, I suffer chronic coughing on and off
Shy: I usually do, but I was trained to hide my shyness and be brave (spartan training from my dad)
Difficult: Occasionally
Bored easily: ouch, this one really hits me right in the center of my forehead. I suffer from short attention span.
Obsessed: Heheheh... blushes(it runs in my family I tell you ... It's not my fault)
Angry: Not at the moment...
Sad: Depends
Happy: Depends
Hyper: Duh...
Trusting: Yes

--WHO DO YOU WANT TO--

Kill: Kukukuku.... a lot of people. 1st that person, then that 1 then all the people that worked in the finance department at my college.. then that person, all my so called old classmate.
Slap?: I don't like to discriminate but I really loves to slap this lawyer who have the biggest ego in the world. She said she never forgets anything. She is the most perfect being in the world. (what she didn't realize is she actually have forgotten how to be a woman since she convince she is a man)
Get really wasted with?: No alcohol for me, thank you
Get high with: Rather not thanks
Talk to offline: My real world friends and my family
Talk to online: Same as above and some of my online friends
Sex it up with: none none none

--RANDOM--

In the morning I: curse the sun for shining so brightly when I just fell asleep an hour before
Love is: considering I don't think I will be inlove but I think Love should be when you accept the person as tey are and don't try to force your opinion on them and to let them know that they are special for you in small ways. Trust in them also understands what they didn't say to you.
I dream about: black magic is what I dream last morning :P
Sexual preference: Pretty sure we've already been over this, but the male gender
What do you notice first in the opposite sex you're into: If I see them then its the ways they carry themselves *i hate arrogant men* and their voice*I kept on imagining how their voice would sound in the bedroom*

--WHICH IS BETTER--

Coke or Pepsi: VANILLA coke..... normal coke have to much gas
Flowers or candy: Can I choose a different one? Biscuit or chocolate
Tall or short: As long as he is a good man he can be ugly for all I care

--WHO--

Makes you laugh the most: My nephew
Makes you smile: My hedgie
Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: No one. My crush studying overseas

--DO YOU EVER--

Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: He rarely Im me. I usually Im him but I do it rarely to avoid him becomes suspicious
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: Lots of times since I am the only girl and 4 big brother and 1 lil brother. So, I got left out a lot, so I wished I was borned male a lot of times.
Wish you were younger: Nope since this year I'm already 20 but still some people takes 1 look at my face and though I am still 12 years old.
Cry because someone said something to you?: errr...... Nope since I toughen up myself that way.

--NUMBER--

Of times I've had my heart broken: None..... I think this section are going to be depressing for me
Of hearts I have broken: None
Of guys I've kissed: 3 people and all of them are family
Of girls I've kissed: Um.... My friends
Of CD's I own: None, I just borrow *steal* my brother's cd
Of scars on my body: More than 10..... I was really tomboy during my youth *god I feel so old*

Water bottle or water dish

So far whenever I put a water dish he didn't try to turn it over.... He only poop in it when it already empty.

I kinda dislike the water bottle, mo always takes a bite of it whenever he drinks from it. I hope that his teeth will not broke because of that habits. I just put mo back into his cage. He is still mad at me.... XD this is a really inconvenient for me since tomorrow I'm going to be on holiday. Nobody would play with him and he will forgets about em T.T

nooooo~ I don't want mo to hate me nor forgets about me. Guess I have to asked my lil brother to keep on playing with mo. Although I don't want to >.<

I so greedy, I kept on hogging mo to myself. My brother wanted to played with mo but if mo still sleeping I told him no... but if I wanted to play with mo I wake mo ups.... Talked about discrimination and biasness... hahahah

Hedgie hates me!!!!!

Lately Mo started to know my smell. So whenever I trid to picked him up he usually just balls up for a sec then unroll.

But But But today he hates me. I make him took a bath.

After I cleaned his cage(it started to smell really BAD!) I bath with a warm water .... he kept on trying to run out. At that time I was have been forcefully reminded to trim his nail. It hurt me when he tried to run out.

Then I put him in his cage after I wipe him as much as possible.... He kept on prickling my hand when I wipe him dry. He spent the day sleeping. I started to get a bit worried usually I at least see some movement but today nothing, nada, zilch.

So near midnight I woke him up..... He usually awake during this time so I don't really feel guilty.
I holded him for 20 minutes and he still balls up whenever I breath or speak... He was dead angry at me since I forced him to bath.. After he calm down a bit, I let him runs free in my room(already hedgie proof it). He still in this room... somewhere. hahahaha

Before this I let him runs around my room, he runs non stop. Before this If I let him runs free in my room he stays balls up somewhere since he still afraid of me. So, when he started to runs around I was really happy... wheeee

Now he's not really runs around but at least his not balling up somewhere since every 5 min I checked on him.....

Snoring

OMG o.0
my hedgie snore!!!
I though he did not make any noise during his sleep cause he did not snore... period.
Then tonight what do I hear... a series of snore.

*melting* It was so adorable. My friend said that his looks are no different to any other african pygmy hedgie but I always counter with I think mine is cuter.

I guess its because I seen my hedgie do cute stuff...(snore,etc) . Of course I'm also more partial and bias towards my hedgie. muahaha

I hold the hedgie!!

Anyway about 6 am this morning he finally woke up. So I tried to hold him... It is a bit complicated trying to hold a hedgie..

hahahaha he keeps puffing and huffing so at 1st I can't hold him at all... I just use a towel.
Then I put him on my lap... He tried to wander off but I held him off...

hahahaha... Then I had a dilemma... How on earth I'm going to put him back in the cage.

So, I used my handphone and called my brother since he said he wanted to try hold the hedgie.

So' its like 2 kills with 1 stone. But it turns out my brother refuse to hold him cause he ... afraid of the quill... So, I had to do it myself *huff huff puff puff*

Then this evening I played with hedgie again. My lil brother was the one that noticed mo was awake... So I tried to pick up mo again. This time it is better since I used only one hand in the towel(the other bare hand)... hihihi

Then I put him on my lil brother lap... He was pretty afraid if the hedgie would quill his *tuut* hahaha

Then I went and took his treat and started to fed him that. Three times he tried to hide away in crook and nanny in my room. The 1st time it happen, it was a pain trying to get him out. I used my bare hand to picked him up... Kinda painful but I started to get used to it. Then I pat him while his quill is up. It was pretty fun.

Then after the 3rd time he hides away, I think it was time to put him in the cage. So i picked him up and put him in the cage. He immediately went into his plastic igloo... hahaha. When I peeked in the igloo, his quill all flat so its good since he was not too terrified from the experience.

So far, I only incorporated meal worm in his diet and his poop is still firm. So, no worries there. For the 1st 2 day he only ate about 4 meal worm. But during the play time he ate about 10. wheeee~

Anyway, I'm currently needed to talked to E. A forum convinced me that giving water in dish instead of water bottle is more healthy.

The reason :

1. Water bottle can break hedgie teeth and hedgie teeth won't grow back like rodent.
2. Using a water bottle will make the owner rarely change the water in the bottle.
3. The water bottle position is making it awkward for the hedgie to drink comfortably.
4. The have been cases that hedgie tongue got stuck in the water bottle spout.
5. Most hedgie prefer water dish than bottle

New Pets!!

This is so exciting... I have a new pet and will get another one soon... Both of them are exotic pets. So, boys and girl don't go thinking since they are cute you want to have them too... It is hard to take care of exotic pet compare to normal household pet.

So the pet I currently have is a hedgehog! An African pygmy hedgehog. The one you can see at a pet store. I adopted mine instead of buying it from pet store. I do this since I thought it is better if I just take a pet that is not wanted from an owner instead of buying from a pet stores. At least I can help him from being abuse if the owner really lost interest in him. But so far the owner seems nice and the hedgehog looks healthy.

This is the third day the hedgehog is in my care. When he wakes up I'm gonna try hold him for a while.... I should start with just 15 minutes at first... and slowly build up his stamina for play time.. Hihihi...

My big brother was all fired up to hold him but I forbid them to do anything to the hedgie for at least 48 hours. Now the hedgie don't puff out so much as he seems to be on the 1st day. Guess my singing for him works... muahahaha

The last owner just offered the hedgehod kibbles.. so I''m currently trying to incorporate a more healthy diet for the hedgie. I still don't know how.. hahahah. I'm waiting for a hedgie forum to reply to my post for that question.

But seriously the hedgie is sooooo bloody cute. If someone is abusing them I don't know if that person have any heart or not. They are soo adorable. I left my camera at my rent house so I can't take pic of him.

hahahah... I gush about the hedgie but I don't interoduce him at all.....

I'm only the second owner of the hedgehog. So I'm not responsible for the money.. all of it will be paid by the 1st owner,E. We do it this way so if one of us is busy at least the other can cover the others slack :>

We planned this because we both are still a student so afraid that we woll get swamped by assignment suddenly don't have time to take care of hedgie for a week or two.

Right now we on sem break, I take care of the hedgie cause E have to go back to see her grandma while I just stay here at serdang. So to reduce the stress on the hedgie she give it to me the 2nd owner to take care of hedgie...

The detail of my hedgie:

Name: Mo (before this he was called cheese... cute hor (>^.^<)
Age: should be 1 years old...
gender: male
Colour: salt and pepper ( I dislike albino I don't know why)

So far I don't know his personality .. will post more update later.

The second pet that I am going to get is a pair of sugar glider. A sugar glider is very adorable and make a great pet for the adult since they are hard to take care for and not to mention expensive.

I'm still waiting to banked in the money to reserve a pair of these from a home breeder. Hii~ Can't wait but now I have hedgie to be content with.

Go on and tickle me elmo!

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things

Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
--Frieda Norris

When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
--Anonymous

Once I had a handle on life; then it broke
--Anonymous

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”
--Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
--Oscar Wilde

My frenz n me

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandma, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandma, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We fucked up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shittttt!!

Stolen from My Ashland

Way of the Sarcastic and Rude

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving ain't for you.

Someone told me to get a life, but I'm not sure where to download that from.

It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys.

Warning: The above post may contain sarcasm.

If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.

Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.

Question authority and the Authorities will question you.

Quitters never win, and winners never quit, but those who never quit AND never win are idiots

I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.

If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!

Today is tomorrow's yesterday...Does that mean today is yesterday’s tomorrow too? @-@ Weird...

You're only young once... you can be immature forever.

I can please only one person a day, and today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

My mind works like lightning... one brilliant flash and it's gone.

I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious issues.

Me and the people in my head voted...the result was unanimous...We ALL hate you.

Death is life's way of telling you - you're fired.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

I don’t need your attitude, I have one of my own.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

You are my friend and I'll always be there for you. When you cry, I cry, when you hurt, I hurt...When you jump off a bridge-Dude I'm suuuuuuure gonna miss ya!

You have the right to remain silent...anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

You're just jealous because the voices only speak to me.

Never go to bed angry... stay up and plot your revenge.

Come to the dark side... We have cookies.

If it weren't for physics, and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.

I'm not good at empathy, will you settle for sarcasm?

Tell me, where is this bright-side you speak of?

Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter accusations.

If you secretly hoped to get a letter from Hogwarts when you were 11, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you're one of those people who think that copying and pasting these into your profile is pointless, but do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

Quotes!!

"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"People who say anything is possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."

"Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience."

"When ever I go to weddings old people poke me and say "you'll be next!" When I go to funerals I do the same thing."

"Ever stop to think and forget to start again?"

"If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring only one thing, what would it be? For those of you who didn't say a boat, I don't think I'll be taking you to an island anytime soon."

"Come over to the dark side...We have cookies!"

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?"

"I'm on a mission to save the world (I can't believe they trusted me with this)."

"Amateurs built the ark, but professionals built the Titanic."

"I'm so done, turn me over."

"But why is the rum gone!"

"There's a light at every tunnel, just pray it’s not a train."

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."

"I'm so sane it's driving me crazy."

"When life gives you lemons make apple juice and let the world wonder how."

"There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled."

"One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject."

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver."

"Life isn't passing me by, it’s trying to run me over."

"Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up."

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; it’s already tomorrow in Australia"

"Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid."

"So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?"

"Yeah, I’m a loser. But the coolest loser you'll ever meet"

"I am generally very brave. Today, I just happen to have a headache"

"You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!"

"'It’s always the last place you look'. Well of course it is! Why the heck would I keep looking after I found it!"

"When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? Who likes lemons?"

"When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!"

"I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me."

"Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend."

"Tell the truth and run."

"If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?"

"If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something."

"A good friend will always bail you out of jail. A best friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man that was fun!'"

"Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies."

"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Chips:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought...??)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(And I am taking this...because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On packet of Nobbys' Peanuts:-
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)